life in error

gallery at mephisto's announces,

07/30/2004
Phone Cam Photo Competition 07/30/04 through 09/15/04
Contact: Joseph Vittorelli
Tel: 810 845.4981
E-mail: detroitnightlife@coolfred.com

Detroit Night Life PhoneCam Photo Competition 2004
The Gallery at Mephisto's is delighted to announce the Detroit Night Life PhoneCam Photo Competition 2004.

The Gallery at Mephisto's will accept emailed digital images taken with a PhoneCam only with a resolution no greater that 640 x 480.

Images should be emailed to detroitnightlife@coolfred.com and should include the following information;
• your name
• your address
• when and where the photograph was taken
• title and description of the photograph

There will be an exhibition of the winning photographs held at the Gallery at Mephisto’s, September 25th 2004 thru October 8th 2004. The Gallery will sponsor a private opening on September 25th 2004.

‘The subject of the photos can cover any aspect of Detroit Night Life; however, they should fit into the categories we have specified.

The categories for the 2004 competition are:
• Night Clubs
• Concerts
• Events
• People
• Cityscapes

There is $100.00 prize money for the overall winner and five first place prizes of $20.00 for the best photograph in each category. Photographers can enter a maximum of 20 images - four pictures in each category - into the competition. Entries can be submitted from July 30th, 2004 through September 15th, 2004.

Full details of the competition (see other side) can be obtained, by making an email request to detroitnightlife@coolfred.com

- ends -

pyros' birthday

It’s Pyros’ birthday! Come join the celebration August 7th, - 9:00 p.m. at Mephisto’s third floor VIP Lounge. RSVP to Joe on 810-845-4981

trailer trash note #8

Driving by the trailer park I see an overwhelming number of Wal-Mart shopping carts strewn about the area. A little further down the road in the same park are the "double-wides" their shopping, from Kmart, are parked like Cadillacs in their car ports.

the max letters

Because the requests have been overwhelming, I have, with the permission of Dr. Max Oberon, decided to publish "The Max Letters" on life in error.

For those of you who are not familiar with Dr. Max Oberon, Dr. Oberon, now retired, was a professor of Philosophy a the University, and now lives with Mrs. Oberon his wife of 28 years, and Rock, their new 3 year old Golden Retriever and leader dog to Mrs. Oberon.

Dr. Oberon’s pleasant and comical assaults on corporate America stem from a need to receive the quality and consideration that a customer deserves. Dr. Oberon demands are simple, “I only want what I want” and that want is derived from what he is promised in ads, commercials, and political promises.

In many of the letters Dr. Oberon makes reference to Roxy their Golden Retriever, who at the age of 16 years old passed away. Max, his wife, Mrs. Oberon and all those who every had the pleasure of meeting Roxy were deeply saddened by the loss. Dr. Oberon became depressed and canceled his lecture tour and went into seclusion. It was only recently, when the Jehovah Witness Ladies Club presented the Oberon’s with Rock, young rambunctious Golden Retrieve that Dr. and Mrs. Oberon made their first public appearance in years. Dr. Oberon has begun a new lecture series, and assures me that he will begin writing letters once again.

For now, with the permission of Dr. Oberon, you can read the hundred or so letters, titled The Max Letters on life in error.

summer

Lazy Days of Summer

trailer trash note #7

On my way into work this morning I saw a wild dog in the middle of the road. It was mangled and bloody. I knew that it was a wild dog by its evolutionary traits, short hair, long nose, etc. I thought to myself, ”that dog could just as well have been trailer trash.” I think most people’s reaction to the scene would have been very similar, You see, you can tell trailer trash by their evolutionary traits.

trailer trash note #6

On the way home I saw a 1972 Ford LTD on the side of the road with its hood up and steam coming from the engine. The vinyl roof covering was torn and flapping in the breeze. There was a woman with long scraggly hair in an orange sun dress holding an infant of about 3 years on her hip. The infant, barefooted, had callouses on his feet. His face was full of dirt. It was apparent that this child had evolved to the point where he/she could eat a bushel of dirt and process all the nutrients out of it. And although it is not the child’s fault, there is nothing he/she or anyone can do to change what he/she is because you can take the trash out of the trailer...

brother can you spare a job?

	In the tradition of the early Chuck Jones propaganda cartoons, "Brother Can You Spare A Job?" takes a depression-era look at the modern-day Bush economy. "Brother Can You Spare A Job?" was voted a "Best Animation" finalist in MoveOn.org's "Bush in 30 Seconds" contest, and has been expanded to a seven minute short cartoon that tells story of Melvin McBean and his family's struggle to make ends meet in Bush's economy."

trailer trash note #5

Today, over a hundred babies were born to parents who live in trailers. Some were even born in the trailers.

This morning a tornado ripped through a trailer park killing one person.

God 1
Nature 100+

Apollo 11

	It been 35 years since the "lunar landing!" Wow, where does time go? There are still people who have trouble believing that it actually happened. See the pictures and the (conspiracy) theory behind the Lunar Landing at http://batesmotel.8m.com/ or at Conspiracy Theories.

trailer trash note #4

Heading east on the expressway were two halves of a double wide mobile home being pulled by big trucks. Following this parade of mobile living extraordinaire was an old beat up Cordoba pulling a U-haul trailer. It was apparent that these were the new owners of the tenement on wheels. In the back seat was a little girl, hanging half way out the window leaning and pointing, beaming at her mother saying "is that my room mommy?" The mother too excited to speak just nodded in agreement. Looks like somebody hit the lotto.

trailer trash note #3

Today was sitting in the yard sipping on bourbon watching the trees swaying in the wind. The wind was picking up speed and I thought to myself the people in the trailer park must be shittin' vinyl siding.

trailer trash note #2

This morning when I stopped for gas I was approached by a young woman, about 18 or 19 years of age. She was begging for money. She told me that she was living in her car and how it would cost her $6.00 to get a shower. She didn't look dirty or smell bad. I thought to myself that her priorities were strange; wanting a shower instead of food. I soon realized that she was new at this. She was taking the evolutionary plunge into mobile living. A trailer, bus, or car, it really doesn't matter. They all have wheels.

I gave her a dollar, who am I to go against nature?

trailer trash note #1

Traffic was very heavy today so I took a different way home. This new route took me past a park. In the park was a fountain. In the fountain was a middle aged woman with red lipstick smeared all around her lips. The woman was bathing in the fountain. I know that she was bathing because there was soap lather on her arms and bubbles flowing out of the fountain. As I turned the corner, to my left, I saw a trailer park where there were several little children with soap and towels running across the street heading for the fountain. 

the gallery at mephisto's

where's saddam

art

	My attempt at Man Ray's Le Violin d'Ingres

favorite bit of dada poetry

AN ANNA BLUME

(Kurt Schwitters' own translation of 'An Anna Blume')

EVE BLOSSOM

Oh thou, beloved of my twenty-seven senses, I love thine! Thou thee thee thine, I thine, thou mine, we?
That (by the way) is beside the point!
Who art thou, uncounted woman, Thou art, art thou?
People say, thou werst,
Let them say, they don't know what they are talking about.
Thou wearest thine hat on thy feet, and wanderest on thine hands,
On thine hands thou wanderest
Hallo, thy red dress, sawn into white folds,
Red I love Eve Blossom, red I love thine,
Thou thee thee thine, I thine, thou mine, we?
That (by the way) belongs to the cold glow!
Eve Blossom, red Eve Blossom what do people say?
PRIZE QUESTION: 1. Eve Blossom is red,
2. Eve Blossom has wheels
3. what colour are the wheels?
Blue is the colour of your yellow hair
Red is the whirl of your green wheels,
Thou simple maiden in everyday dress,
Thou small green animal,
I love thine!
Thou thee thee thine, I thine, thou mine, we?
That (by the way) belongs to the glowing brazier!
Eve Blossom,eve,
E - V - E,
E easy, V victory, E easy,
I trickle your name.
Your name drops like soft tallow.
Do you know it, Eve?
Do you already know it?
One can also read you from the back
And you, you most glorious of all,
You are from the back as from the front,
E-V-E.
Easy victory.
Tallow trickles to stroke over my back
Eve Blossom,
Thou drippy animal,
I
Love
Thine!
I love you!!!!

you gotta have ...

	Man Ray - Le Violin d'Ingres

In need of help...

Can some kind reader tell me where the quote below comes from.
"I received a letter today from Parley Pratt's mother in law from Herkimer Co, NY of no consequence as to what it contained, but cost me 25 cents for postage. I mention this as it is a common occurrence and I am subjected to a great deal of expense in this way by those who I know nothing about, only that they are destitute of good manners . . . common respect and good breeding would dictate them to pay postage on their letters."

How to Tell an Assimilated Alien:

Aliens or extraterrestrial have co-existed on earth for many thousands of years and have become quite well assimilated. They have even gone as far as to instill some of their beliefs and customs upon us. There are, however, still a few tell tale signs that we can use in determining an alien form from a human.

Aliens or extraterrestrial have co-existed on earth for many thousands of years and have become quite well assimilated. They have even gone as far as to instill some of their beliefs and customs upon us. There are, however, still a few tell tale signs that we can use in determining an alien form from a human.

First and foremost Aliens are asexual and have no gender, during their initial phase of assimilation they chose as their human model the female, believing that the female human was dominant over the male.  That is not to say that there are not aliens that have taken on the male form. There are a few and they pose no real threat since they would be considered by both human and alien to be dim witted and lacking anything desirable.

As stated above aliens are asexual creatures, who reproduce by a very complicated process of cell splitting and DNA Restructuring, therefore you will very seldom see an alien with a child of its own. There are documented cases of aliens who have adopted human babies and raised them like a traditional human, however all the time they were instilling alien traditions and customs into the child.

If you look at a human female you will notice that distance between her eyes is exactly the width of one eye. If you look at female assimilated alien you will notice that the distance between the eyes is greater than the width of one eye, if accurately measured it is 1 1/2 to 1 3/4 the width of one eye. Male assimilated aliens usually are missing the second eye altogether or are cross eyed which will confuse the viewer into making inaccurate measurements.

Aliens process incoming data very quickly, because of this; in the course of normal conversation female assimilated alien will tend to complete your sentences for you. This will leave you wondering if that is really what you wanted to say or even if that is what surrounding people/aliens wanted to hear. It is best, when speaking to an alien, (known or unknown) to speak slowly and change the theme or idea of your conversation several times in mid-sentence. You should also repeat yourself several times, only slightly changing the tone of your voice. After a somewhat brief conversation you will notice that alien will begin to stammer and babble in an incoherent manner. Prolonged conversation of this type has been known to cause fits in some aliens. Also, it should be noted that the female assimilated alien will prudishly refuse to speak about sex, medically or entertainment wise. On the other, the male assimilated alien will begin to drool profusely and make obscene jester at the mere mention of anything sexual. The simple phrase, "Mary started her period yesterday" will turn any male assimilated alien into a blithering sex offender.

 Finally a sure and simple test is to ask a suspected alien their twelve's times table. If asked what is 12 times 354 an alien will promptly and with no hesitation whatsoever reply 4248, at the same time giving you a look of superiority. The table below contains a few examples to help you.

Aliens are very good with math that deals with base 12 because they have six fingers on each hand. At birth they have one finger from each hand removed as a part of their assimilation. Although raised in a base ten society, they instinctual nature of the alien psyche perpetuates the desire for neat little bundles of twelve, e.g., a dozen doughnuts, a rule of 12 inches, etc.